An Unorthodox Marriage
by ScarletNightmares
Summary: Warning: This story is extremely illogical, read at your own risk!


**Author's Note: Before you read this, please note that the story below is extremely illogical and you might suffer from a tiny heart attack at how ridiculous it is :p If you dare to read on, be my guest~**

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Humans. Selfish and morally corrupt human beings created in order to destroy. Due to their irresponsible use of the earth's resources, global warming had set in and impending doom was foretold.

Wiping off a stray droplet of sweat off his eyebrow, Jacob hastily stole a glance at himself in the mirror. "Handsome as always," he couldn't help but comment narcissistically, straightening his bow tie. He had to look his best since today was a day to remember.

Isabella, who would rather be known as Bella, who was in the adjacent room, had several make-up artistes working on her in order to make her look P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Donned in a lavish periwinkle wedding dress, she was more than ready to become Jacob's life-long partner.

The ceremony was simple, yet sophisticated and sentimental. Jacob's parents shed a few tears in pride for they had never in their wildest dreams expected that a wonderful woman such as Bella – or rather, anyone – to ever fall in love with their son.

"Jacob Black," the pastor, with his wizened white hair reflecting the light from the glory of heaven, spoke. "Do you take Isabella Swan to be your wedded wife, in the presence of these witnesses do you vow that you will do everything in your power to make your love for her a growing part of your life? Will you continue to strengthen it from day to day and week to week with your best resources? Will you stand by her in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth, and will you shun all others and keep yourself to her alone as long as you both shall live?" The pastor tossed out his inhaler and puffed it a little because that was a MOUTHFUL.

"I do," Jacob spoke, his voice filled with confidence and strength, resonating and bouncing off the walls of the small chapel, infiltrating all the hearts of those seated in the pews.

The pastor then turned to Bella and implored, "I think I'm on the verge of getting an asthma attack so could you just save me from repeating everything I just said?"

"I do," Bella giggled lightly, and the guests burst into applause as the newlyweds shared a passionate kiss. The bouquet was thrown and Jane, one of Jacob's ex-students, caught it.

"Yay!" Jane squealed as her friends clobbered her and stole the bouquet away, leaving her bloody remnants on the marble floor.

"Damn now I have to clean up the mess," Alec, a cleaner of the church, cursed under his breath as he sprayed detergent on the crimson ground and mopped up Jane's intestines.

In the meantime, the newlyweds were in the tiny balcony, content with their own privacy.

"Bella… You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," Jacob mused, wrapping his arms around Bella's waist from behind.

"So-" Bella started off, but an unusual rumble shook the earth. "Eh?"

"Tsunami!" The guests hollered, scampering for their lives.

A huge block of water came crashing down on the chapel and Bella was surrounded by nothing but blue.

_No…_ She thought to herself, her dress unfortunately stuck onto the doorknob of the balcony, leaving her no choice but to remain underwater. Sensing her distress, Jacob remained underwater as well, diving deep in an attempt to come to her aid.

'Leave without me' Bella sent a telepathic message to Jacob, who immediately shook his head vehemently. Her air supply was giving out and she did not want Jacob to risk his life for her. He couldn't.

All of a sudden, she felt herself being wrapped up in a warm embrace. In Jacob's arms, she felt safe and secure despite the current situation. A glob of her tears merged with the sea, disappearing into the vast blue for eternity.

_Will you shun all others and keep yourself to her alone as long as you both shall live?_

Being with her, even in death… That was enough for him.

"I do."


End file.
